On Easy Street.

You is liking Metody's wallpaper yes? It is wall from new flat given him by Social Security. Is wery good flat I am thinking. Now Metody has valuable home he can take out loans from high street lenders rather than Alan the Incest and get him clothing from Boden catalogue so that he look like good house husband. Wery much inpressive for woman no? I think I well get many shags.
Also now Metody is officially without work he qualify for free dental treatment so Metody can get cocktail stick remowed from big back tooth where it has been now since 2007 already.
Metody must have been mad to try working here in Britain. When Metody work he was in shitters street. Also too have been reading prospectus on social welfare and find that if I get drug habit this entitles Metody to join 'Choose Life' gentlemen's club and get free day trips to go-gart tracks, and for the eating of free dinners!
No wonder Englishman not want work at Danepak for £3.45 on the hour!

Made Up Children

Katie Price is I is reading planning launch of edible children's made-up that is modeled by her daughter Priceless (that is not the fat blind boy).

The 31-year-old clamorous model, once called Jordan - has been bringing upon herself the wrath of ex-spouse Peter Andre earlier of this year when she did gave two-year-old daughter a made-up face with false eyelashes and did post the picture on the Facebook. This woman reveals her big plans on her ITV2 realism program ‘What Will Katie Do Next?’

Says Katie on her show: "Obviously the story would be she nicks my make-up all the time, it's not safe for her to use a proper lady's mascara... edible lipstick, little case with edible wipes to take your make-up off - you can get a nice case for make-up wipes, lipsticks, edible blushers and edible mascara and tasty nail varnishes innit."

The manager of her bottles of cheap scent business named 'Stinking' is pointing and is telling her: "There is to be a lot of PR from this as it is quite controversial. What with paedophile priests in the news and all. Kiddy fiddling is all the rage. We can mop up good." The pair then burst out laughing.

Priceless noded when asked if she would like make-up what can also be eaten by her, or possibly licked off face by grown up man. So Katie Price decided product would be named after this daughter.

The manager he say: "We've gotta model, we've gotta name, we just need a product innit."

Warned she will face a backlash over the sexying of young girls, Katie is retorting: "That's why I like to do it. For all you haters out there."

Peter was wery beside his self when a picture of Priceless's face being made-up with false eyelashes was put on the Facebook.

Peter said: "If I is honest, I is absolutely disgusted and to me that's the worst thing to be worried about. It's a two-year-old girl and she is disgusting looking."